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Lily

I  was into pseudo stuff then, you know, what we call demonstrating. I had this jalopy and I would say, "My gasoline tank is always full. My gasoline tank is always full." And sure, it was always full. I was manifesting it. But one day it went bomp, bomp, bomp and stopped. Somebody came over to help me, and I said, "Is there any gasoline in the gasoline tank?" He said, "Yes, it's full, but the gasoline is not running into the engine. The fuel line is blocked." Do you understand the power of that? When we pray, we've got to pray the right way. I only prayed half a prayer. I only prayed to make my gasoline tank full. I didn't say, "Run my car, God." Be careful of your prayers because you'll get them answered, but they had better be a whole prayer of what you want.

Now to talk about some of the other Masters. I would like to talk about Mahadevananda, who was my yoga teacher. He was 160 and he looked about 45. He was wonderful. His body had decayed and he had lost his teeth and had gone to the Himalayas and regrown himself and had come back. When I met him, he was about 160. He belonged to an order that never looked at a woman for the first 90 years. He said he didn't know what he had been missing until the 90 years were up. He was wonderful, just simply a wonderful, wonderful person. I could talk a long time about him. Even now I have a photograph of him, and once in a while, if there is any concern going through me, I can hear the photograph say, "Don't worry, Hilda, don't worry." I hear him speak through it. I could talk a long time on each of these Masters, but we have to get on with the lesson.

Nityananda's is a wonderful story, and this is the story I want you to understand. Nityananda — he was not a man. He was God. He was found under a bush, not born through a woman, and a harijan, a poor woman, picked him up and took him home. She couldn't make him eat anything. She was going to put him in a basket — like Moses' story — and put him on the river near where he was found and let him, this tiny baby a few days old, float away because he couldn't eat. Then a holy man came along and told her to put a bit of crow's meat in the baby's mouth. At the same time that the holy man spoke, a man came along with a crow. The woman just touched the baby's tongue with the crow's meat. Do you understand what that did? It brought his vibratory rate down from the ethereal into this plane of consciousness which we call the physical.

Now if any of you get too ethereal, don't eat crow's meat. Just eat soya burgers, but eat something, just eat something. A person called me one day and he said, "I'm so ethereal, I don't know what to do. I'm bleeding from somewhere." I forget from where, his mouth or something. I said, "Well, go and eat something." He said, "Well, oh, good, I'll eat a lettuce leaf." I said, "Oh." I sent someone out there to teach him how to eat — how to eat lentils and beans, how to eat properly, holistically, a balanced diet. So when you're getting too ethereal, and you're walking up above the Earth and your feet don't touch the Earth, and you're getting nervous, go and have a good meal. Do you understand? I'm giving you practical stuff now because I'm not likely to come to Princeton again. So gather it all in.

My own story with Nityananda is wonderful. I was in my house in Oakland, California, breathing in and out, breathing in and out. Oh, my God, I had read in Vivekananda's book to breathe in so many, hold so many and breathe out so many, and I was doubling it and tripling it, and I was feeling a fire inside me. I was burning myself to pieces with this ardency. Then, boom, in the corner of my room appeared a yogi and he even brought a tree, under which he was sitting. I looked at the yogi. It lasted for maybe forty seconds, maybe a minute, and faded away. Then I could breathe, I could hold, I could do everything. He gave me grace. He looked over from India where he was, in Ganeshpuri, and saw this fool of a girl, blowing herself to pieces, and he said, "Let me help her." So he helped me. There will always be someone to help you. Do you understand that? There will always be someone to help you. I am telling you this. You are never alone. Never alone.

Years later, in India, I was in a taxi cab where I saw a picture of a holy man. In the Orient, the cab drivers will have a picture of their guru in the taxi, and they'll put Christmas lights around it. Now, if someone here took a taxi cab and put Jesus' picture in it and lights around it, I'm sure that cab driver would be called into the office and given his pay. But there, they do that and the lights go blinking on and off. So I was in this taxi cab and saw this picture and I said, "Who is that?" The driver said, "It's a great, great Master, way up in the jungles outside Bombay." I made up my mind that I'd go and see him — and so I did. I went to Shirdi Sai Baba's shrine and there I met a lady who said, "Let's go to Ganeshpuri." When I got there, who was it? Well, there's a story before that that I want to tell you.

I was up in Delhi. There were three of us, a man who had been in an airplane accident, his sister and I. I was just asking myself, "What is this all about? Why don't I go back to the world?" In the hotel I started to walk up and down like a mad woman. I said, "If I don't see my Krishna today, I'll never see him in this life. If I don't see my Krishna today, I'll never see him in this life." I went down the hall of the hotel to my friend's room and I said, "We're going to Brindavan." I didn't know where Brindavan was, but it was Krishna's place. So the man said, "I'm sick, I've had that accident." I said, as I thought at him with concentration, "How do you feel now?" He said, "Well, I feel better now." I said, "Well, let's grab our luggage, let's go." So we got to Brindavan and we got in a tonga, which is a two-wheeled cart. The driver was taking us to the temple. I went crazy again. I said, "This tonga is taking us to the wrong place. Ask that man." The man on the street was kind enough to jump in the tonga with us and take us to the temple of Krishna. When we got there, he said, "I have to leave you now. I'm going to my master." Again I went mad. I said, "Then take us to your master." He was embarrassed. He said, "Well, I don't know that I can," but he did.

So we walked through the streets of Brindavan with him. Oh, kids, in India you walk through the streets at six o'clock and out of every house is coming the smell of incense. Everybody is lighting incense and the streets are full of it, especially in Brindavan, the land of Krishna. When you come to Brindavan you see Krishna everywhere. Everything is Krishna. People drive cabs for Krishna. People dance for Krishna. People live for Krishna.

So the man took us up to the master. I had an awful sciatica pain from being in Delhi in the cold and not having proper clothes, so I was sitting there and leaning back. This master said, "Sit up and don't be lazy." Did I sit up! Then the ida and the pingala went "woooo woooo" up my spine. He did it for me and he kept me on the path.

And so later, I was in Bombay, and we decided to go to Ganeshpuri. As soon as I got there and looked at the Master, Nityananda, I knew he was the one who had helped me in Oakland, California, ten thousand miles away, and in Brindavan. Do you understand this, my loves? There is somebody looking over you. No matter if you feel deserted or as if you have nobody, if you are striving, you are not alone. There was a line of people that went past him, and he would just sit there. He was just God Almighty, that's all. I froze. Perspiration dropped off of me and I couldn't move. I went into samadhi standing there, and the people went around me. When I came down, I ran around, got into the line again and came through again to see this great being because I had found my own at last. I knew I didn't have to look any more. When you find your own, you know it in your heart. Your heart stops looking around. It may be Jesus, it may be yoga, it may be just a truth inside yourself, but when you've found it, you don't have to look any more. It's wonderful.

After that, I would go and see him. I'd ride the old third-class train with the women and the fish mongers and the smell of fish and the yelling of "mahla, mahla, mahla," which means fish. Then I decided to go stay there for a year. I thought that I would go there and just make it to God. And I heard him say, "Write and ask how I am." I wrote to a man who was the head of the Iron Department, who was his disciple, and he said Nityananda had passed on. I went to Ganeshpuri, and I stood in front of his chair and I said, "What did you do this for? I was coming here to stay a year with you. Why did you do this?" I heard him say, "You shall never see me again except as the Atma, or God, in your own heart." He was a tough one, I'm telling you. He was the best teacher possible. We talked mind to mind. We didn't talk with words. We didn't use words. The only thing he would ever say was to grunt "Unh, unh." I met a person much later and I said, "You knew Nityananda? Did he ever say anything wonderful to you?" He said, "Yes." I said, "What did he say?" He said, "Unh."

To bring this story up to date, in New York I went shopping by myself recently, something which I never do. I came out of the store alone with my money purse open, and this guy came toward me to grab my purse. I went at him like this, "Unh." Did he run! I'll tell you, it's better than guns. It's better than mace. It's better than anything. Nityananda did it inside me. Do you understand? Then I turned around and the guy was coming back. He was looking at me. I went "Unh," and that poor guy was scared stiff. He ran. I don't blame him, with that noise. Nityananda took care of me. I was such a fool to stand with my purse open on Broadway and 103rd, which is a bad part of town. You don't do those things where poor people are, because you make karma for others. You make karma for others if you're careless with your purse.

After Nityananda passed on, someone told me about Sathya Sai Baba. I wanted to go to his ashram. I went to buy a round-trip ticket. The station manager at the railway said, "Have you asked the Master?" meaning Sai Baba. I hadn't gotten there yet so I got a little irritable. I said, "Asked the Master? What for? Give me a ticket back in three days. I am going back to America." He said, "I can't give you a return ticket. You didn't get permission from the Master." I stayed about fourteen months straight with Sai Baba.

When I finally got there, it was very late at night, after the lights were all out — the lights go out at 9:30 at his place. I didn't know where to sleep or anything. It wasn't as organized as it is now. It wasn't organized at all. If you wanted to go to the bathroom, you'd walk to the mountain, find your favorite rock, and that was your toilet. I had a favorite rock.

Because I got there very late at night, they put me on the hospital veranda. When I woke up, there was a mangy dog sleeping with me. I woke up about 4:30 a.m. with a power coming at me. It was the same power that I had felt at Nityananda's, at 4:00 in the morning, when he had sent this "wooo" as electricity through me. Not very comfortable electricity, either. I had looked around, and everybody was sleeping. I had said, "What's the big idea, Nityananda? I mean, everybody else is sleeping, why wake me up?" I had tried to go back to sleep, but I couldn't. I had to sit up and meditate. So the same thing happened at Baba's. This "wang" came at me and I said, "Boy, I've hit the jackpot here."

Usually you wait maybe weeks and weeks and maybe years to get an interview with Sai Baba, but I just walked out there that morning and he came out. He motioned to me, but I didn't know what he meant. People said, "He's calling you in for an interview." I said, "What's that?" They said, "Go, go, go," so I went in. He looked at me and he said, "That's yogic heat. She has yogic heat." From overdoing, you understand. Then with a motion of his hand he took some halvah out of the air — it was still hot out of somebody's pan — and he said, "That's heat, this is sweet, eat." I ate it and my whole system cooled off. He did many, many things for me, many, many miracles. People say that if you're a high soul, you won't do miracles. Well, believe me, I enjoyed those miracles, and it didn't do any harm. When he was criticized for doing miracles, Sai Baba said, like a little boy, "Why shouldn't I take from Sai stores? Other people give presents, why shouldn't I take from Sai stores and give to the people presents?" I'll tell you, miracles awaken you into another dimension. When you first see him wave his hand in the air and holy ash or a ring or something else comes in his hand, you burst into a fourth dimension of consciousness. It makes it seem that we are living in such a dull, clucky way down here. We live in three dimensions, and if somebody goes into a fourth dimension, we say he shouldn't do it.

I spent a long time with Sai Baba. He took me around with him, and I never became so dull that I didn't like miracles. You know, after a while, you can say, "Oh, he made holy ash," and then the next day, "Oh, he made holy ash. Oh yeah, he made some holy ash." But never with me. For me it was, "He made some holy ash! Oh, wow! He made a locket — wow!" One time a girl gave him a gold locket with the symbol "om" on it and he said it was a rotten om. Then he said, "Would you like an om or a picture of me?" She said, "I would like a picture of you." With that, he went like this — whooh — and where there had been just a plain little locket, there was a beautiful thing with his picture with twenty-three diamonds around it for the twenty-three years that this girl had been with him and had served him. As he blew, it made me feel what it must have been like when God blew us into creation.

This ring I wear is Sai Baba's. He made it out of the air. I had been going around to temple after temple and gathering holy ash for healing work for when I came home and had been putting it in my trunk. Nobody knew this. The last day I was with Sai Baba, he called me up and he said, "Hilda has a trunk full of holy ash for healing. I'm going to give her a ring." He did this "shoop" and the ring was there. He said, "If you look in it, you will sometimes see me or sometimes it will go into the infinite and it will just turn into light." And it has. There have been hundreds and hundreds who have looked into this ring and have seen him in color, walking. It has been a magical ring.

 
 
It isn't the trinkets. No. It is not the holy ash. No. It is what we are coming into in the Golden Age. Do you understand this? This is what we're going to be. It's a forerunner. All I can say is that you are being watched and loved. If you are sitting here, you are known. When a light of aspiration and inspiration comes over your head, the Masters say, "There's one we must teach." They will take you at nighttime and not let you wander around on the astral planes, but will take you and teach you. There is a place where the Masters teach us at nighttime. You know all these things, but you've got to have the desire to go ahead.

I'd like to remind you about one more thing. Look in the mirror in the morning. If you're ill, if you're feeling sick, if you think you're ugly, if you think everything is going wrong for you, look in the mirror in the morning and say, "I am beautiful. I am radiant." If you're forty-two, say, "I am twenty-four." Turn it backwards: "I am twenty-four and wonderful. I am healthy. I am glorious. I am wonderful. I am wonderful. I am wonderful." Start your day like that, looking in the mirror. So use the mirror positively to reflect your true, wonderful divine Self. The Master said not to look to the outside of people, but to look to their souls. No matter how they're acting outside, look to their souls. And so, look to your soul and see your perfect Self.

Why should we be miserable? Why should we be sick, when we have a mind that can create a new life for us? If you haven't got a job, go to the mirror and say, "Oh, thank you, God, for my wonderful job." If your boss is mean, you say, "Oh, my boss is so wonderful." You'll go down and he'll be wonderful. Change your life. Be the master of your own life. Do you understand me clearly? Hallelujah! That's the extent of my evangelism.
 
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